Author: admin

There’s grace on the ground
but you can’t pin it down

I’m getting tired of running and I can’t keep up this pace
You run along beside me and you say ‘It’s not a race’

I’m overworked but I’ll never earn enough
You show me the spaces between my stuff

My patience with my family is wearing very thin
You use my new transparency to let the light in

I search the crowd of faces trying to fit in somewhere new
You shout ‘Hey, join us over here! I’ve always liked you.’

Keeping up with the in-crowd is causing me stress
You introduce me to someone with less

I’m blushing in the public glare
You divert their attention and you strip yourself bare

I smash my anger in your face
You clean it up and it leaves no trace

I’ve gone right off the rails and I’m lying in the dirt
You kneel to help me up again, despite your white shirt

My body’s old and broken and these wounds will never heal
You give me bread to keep me going and prepare a four course meal

I’m exhausted, but my anxious thoughts still run around my head
You let me sleep securely in a king size bed

I’ve not been good this year, they say
You fill my stocking anyway

There is grace, on the ground
But you can’t pin it down

 

©tamingtheoctopus 2018

This is not a conveyor belt wedding day
So I won’t wrap these words in a pink bouquet
Suffocate them in a floral spray
Sugarcoat and mould them in a heart shaped tray

No!

This is your love
Undiluted raw love
Never seen before love,
Not available in store love

Love that’s not an imitation
Love with flaws and limitations
Love that doesn’t need to shout
Love with the benefit of the doubt

Travelled far to find you love
Hold you but not bind you love
Comfortable, secure love
“Leave your baggage at the door, love”

Love that doesn’t snipe or smother
Love where you actually like each other
Love without show or pretence
Love you know just makes sense

Happy where you’re heading love
Goes beyond the wedding love
Not made up or dressed up, no crimes, no dramas
This is love in your pyjamas

(for Beth and Jo’s wedding, 9th September 2017)

©tamingtheoctopus 2017

I’m naturally disordered, I’ve got chaos at my core
And all day long I fight with time to overcome each chore
I’m buzzy and happy then stressy and flappy
I can wear you out just watching me
I’m a wasp in a revolving door

But when I run I’m completely at ease
And I glide beside the river past the houses and the trees
I’m cool and calm and wild and free
And I’m harnessing the power of my nervous energy
And when I run I’m a metronome
I can tell you quite precisely when I’ll be back home
In terms of endurance I’m the Duracell bunny
But I flow down the hills like a spill of runny honey

‘Wrong attitude for school sports. Doesn’t understand her role’
I was ejected from the netball team for scoring an own-goal!
Rejecting exercise outright I took up ‘anti-sporty spite’
‘PICK EACH OTHER FOR YOUR TEAM GAMES – AT LEAST I CAN READ AND WRITE!’

But when I run I experience grace
And my tensions and neurosis all get pummelled into place
And the tangled thoughts that bore into my head
Are now plaits that fly behind me tied with bows of coloured thread
And when I run I’m in control
And its good for my mind and my body and my soul
Even when the running ends the endorphins are my friends
I can leave the house in pieces and I come back whole

I used to watch the joggers sweating buckets by the sea
And I’d feel relief and pity, very glad it wasn’t me
All that effort, all that fuss, just like running for a bus
But it isn’t how it looked and once I tried it I was hooked

Now when I run I do ten minute miles
Irrespective of the hills or the weather or the stiles
I’m a clockwork mouse once I leave my house
And I don’t break my stride for any patronising smiles

So I’m back through the door
And I slide to the floor
Amongst the same chaotic mess but now it somehow matters less
Because when I run I feel completely at one with the street and my own heart beat

©tamingtheoctopus 2017

So I’m in a garbage crusher and the walls are closing in
Like that classic scene from Star Wars – ‘Well at least we’ll all die thin!’
But this dump is in my kitchen, piles of debris to my chin
And my toddlers are rooting through the contents of the bin

Try to keep on top of the washing up as it swirls beneath my feet
If it did all get compacted it could make the place quite neat
This is not a place for children though they helped create the mess
Need to get us all out quickly, torrent rising with my stress

Then my phone beeps, it’s a message; hope now rises with the tide
It could be another mother who could help us get outside
It says ‘Got no plans this afternoon, I’ve finished all my chores
Too much rain for park again. Shall we all come to yours?’… NO!

The cesspool overwhelms me, any hope has floated on
I wedge my kids up on a ledge and I put my snorkel on. . .
There’s a small creative outlet that I think I could get into; an escape hatch, and a channel for my rage

I leave behind the daily grind and emerge, relieved to find myself right here on this clean and spacious page

©tamingtheoctopus 2017